Month: September 2015

One Day I’ll Be Fine With That

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Don’t leave me now, you might love me back
Distance is fine, I know you can’t care
And nothing is big like that
You don’t see me now, I don’t see you back
One day I’ll be fine with that
You don’t leave me now
Do you love me back?



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Loneliness Descending

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Horse farm in NC
A gray day at a horse farm in North Carolina.

 

 

“At other times, she could feel her loneliness descend like a nuclear fallout, a whiteness that obscured her completely.”

 


 

 

 

Tell Me True

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bracelet

Of all the dalliances I’ve had, this boy is the most, shall we say, puppy dog like. Maybe it’s the age thing, the younger they are, the more needy they seem.

The distance doesn’t help, of course. I find myself giving out reassurances that I may not be able to sustain, so I stopped giving them. Unsurprisingly, this did not go over well on the other side of the ocean. There was radio silence for days. And then there was that one night we were messaging, when he sends me a missive: “Tell me you do not love anyone.”

That made me pause, mid-key. I’ve just been given a sort of ultimatum, and the skittish girl in me wanted to run, fast. But then I thought, if I do not love anyone, that makes for such a sad life. If I do have a love and it’s someone else, that will not be palatable to him as well. Maybe it’s the grammar that needs work, some nuance lost in translation, but I get the feeling he is looking for something that may not be there. And so, there is no happy answer to that bit of chat, no emoticons that can ease the heart into believing all is well.

That’s the flip side of asking for the truth, you might learn more than you care to know.